7 Quick Tips To Make Your Home a Retreat
Is your home a retreat or a wreck?
Do you enjoy being at home, or are you constantly trying to find a reason to escape somewhere else?
Today, I want to give you seven quick tips to take your home from wreck to retreat, making your home a place where your family will always love to be.
I love homemaking.
I enjoy most of the tasks surrounding my home; I enjoy cooking and baking, and I love cleaning and making my house smell nice.
I simply enjoy being home.
My home is my favorite place on earth to be.
One thing I’ve noticed about my home is that there are two things that contribute to the atmosphere that influences how my day runs and how my family responds:
- My attitude
- How orderly and organized my home is
I put attitude first on purpose because, truly, my attitude sets the overall tone in the home.
If I am anxious or cranky, it fills my home with insecurity and unrest. When I allow the peace of God to rule in my heart and fill me with joy, it fills my home with stability and happiness.
Additionally, having an organized home greatly contributes to that sense of stability and joy.
Making sure my home runs with a consistent routine with scheduled times for cleaning, meal preparation, schoolwork, homework, ministry, clients, and my own online work.
When I choose to “go with the flow”, nothing gets done well, and the kids don’t feel as connected with me because I’m always 3 steps behind, a little stressed, and not very engaged with my family.
While surely some women would resent so much responsibility on their shoulders, I love it.
I love being here, at the hub of family activity, and knowing that it is my responsibility to make sure it all runs smoothly.
One of the greatest compliments my husband gives me on a regular basis is telling me how much he loves coming home and how our home is a peaceful place for him.
Over the years, I have found tried-and-true ways to make my home a retreat, and I’m sharing those with you today.
7 Quick Tips To Make Your Home a Retreat
1. Have your quiet time first thing in the morning
I love this quote by Martin Luther on prayer. “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.”
This sets the foundation for our day, because it ensures that whatever arises – expected or unexpected – we will stand firm in our peace.
As wives, we have a lot of responsibility, and if our hearts get ruffled, if our emotions are out of control, and if our thoughts begin drifting to negativity, it can all go downhill rather quickly.
There is no better start to our day than our date with the Lord. Without that, we tend to get tunnel vision, and our focus becomes more on ourselves and less on the needs of the people God has called us to serve.
2. Do the mental tasks before the kids wake
Whether it’s preparing for a Bible study I’m leading or writing a blog post, I have found that doing my mental tasks right after my devotions is the best time.
My thoughts are fresh, I am not interrupted with a million questions or just the distraction of people milling about all around me.
Once those tasks are out of the way and marked off my checklist, then I don’t feel the pressure of wondering how I’ll get those tasks done with all of the distractions of my busy home.
3. Stick to routine
Some do well with a schedule, but we have found that a routine works best for us. There are simply too many variables in our day.
From my husband’s shift work, to our older son’s varying school schedule, church responsibilities, homeschooling our younger son…
There are too many things that change from day to day to be able to have a schedule. So, I have found that if we follow a basic routine, we’re not committed to time slots. We can be flexible.
This routine has helped to give stability to our home.
4. Make a chart or list for each day
I know many homemakers have their elaborate planners, but I’ve never found them to work well for me.
Several years ago, I made myself a weekly spreadsheet that lists all of my usual daily activities, plus empty spaces to write in anything extra for that day.
Each week, I print this spreadsheet out, write in what our meals will be and any additional work I need to do for clients, and then each day I cross off the tasks as I do them.
Crossing out completed tasks is incredibly motivating and helps me stay on task in those moments when I’m tempted to go off and do my own thing.
This is the method I’ve done for years, and it works so well for us.
There are two things I’ve found essential to my list:
- Highlighting the most important tasks so they get done first.
- Planning my meals ahead of time.
5. Don’t get sucked in by social media
There is almost no greater threat to my day than social media.
One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is, “I’ll just scroll for a few minutes”. A few minutes ends up being a half-hour or longer, and then our day is derailed, as we rush to catch up on the tasks that truly need our attention.
There are five things I do to keep from getting sucked in by social media:
- I have the Kill My Feed Chrome extension enabled. This keeps you from seeing your Facebook feed at all. I only disable the extension on the weekends after my client’s work is done.
- I use the “Ignore Messages” feature on Messenger. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone, but I get so many messages each day that I find I must put everyone but clients and family on ignore and then check my filtered messages once a week to answer them.
- I have all notifications on my phone and tablet turned off. There is no ding and no numbers next to the apps. This doesn’t tempt me to be constantly looking at my phone or tablet. Plus, it keeps my anxiety levels low, since having numbers next to my apps is a major stressor for my type-A personality.
- I don’t check my phone first thing in the morning. I turn my alarm off, put my phone on my desk, and walk into the kitchen, where I make my coffee and pray.
- I set times of the day when I can check into my online groups. I cannot be available to my family – the ones I’m called to serve first – and be available to the rest of the world at the same time. So, I’ve put that expectation to rest.
6. Give yourself breaks
No one can run from morning to night without a break, and trying will not only wear you out, but it will also cause stress in your body.
My husband has taught me the value of this.
When he’s home, he will say, “Make us some tea and let’s sit and talk”. Our kids love this because it usually means they get screen time while mom and dad have their time to chat about everything and nothing.
We sit on the couch, kick our legs up on the coffee, and just talk. It is very relaxing and a very necessary connection between the two of us. I really do look forward to those little breaks in my day.
7. Give yourself permission not to be perfect
Can I tell you a secret?
It doesn’t always go the way I plan. Some days it just all falls apart, and I fall apart, and the whole thing is just messy.
Some days, the kids have too much screen time.
Sometimes I’m cranky in spite of my best intentions.
Some weeks, the house has enough crumbs on the floor to feed an entire 3rd-world nation.
Sometimes my husband has to go riffling through the overflowing ironing basket to find a shirt he almost forgot he had.
Some days I’m rushing about, frantic and anxious, and looking forward to my kids going to bed.
There are days when it won’t be perfect: you won’t be perfect, your husband won’t be happy with you, your kids will be wild and crazy, and your house will look like it should be condemned.
You know what?
It’s okay.
Give yourself permission to be okay with it for now.
It won’t always be like this. After this storm blows over, peace will come, and things will fall right back into place again.
If you give yourself permission to be messy once in a while, it will make the messy times far easier than if, during the storm, you grow anxious and stressed because of the messiness.
Most times, these storms can’t be helped, and the messy part of life is not in our control. So, if you can’t control it, all you can do is roll with it and be flexible until it’s over.
